People Always Ask

December 19, 2016


Now that I’ve “levelled up” in the adult world and had a baby, people always ask me if I want another. And you know what? That’s a really difficult question to answer when my baby is still considered a newborn and the birth is still very clear and vivid in my memory. My sister is convinced I’ll be pregnant again within two years, but I’ve told her not to hold her breath. So to answer the ubiquitous question “Do you want another baby?” here are 10 reasons why I say no (for now).


  1. I never want to be pregnant again. It’s as simple as that. And for the women who say: “Oh why? I loved being pregnant! It’s so beautiful and I felt amazing”—shut up. Being tired and bloated 99% of the time, isn’t beautiful or fun. And if you’re one of those women…we will never relate.


  1. If we decided to have a second child, we would definitely have to move. And there’s no way we could buy a three-bedroom apartment/house unless we move outside the heart of the city. Besides, I hate moving.


  1. Two kids means two college funds—and that’s going to affect when I can retire.


  1. I already have two dogs, which is pretty much equal to half a child.


  1. Two kids turn into two teenagers. Who actually wants to live with two hormonal teenagers who think they know everything and are eating machines? It would be all attitude and a thousand trips to the grocery store every week. No thank you!


  1. Having a second could mean having another boy—and then I would be very outnumbered. If I wanted to live with a house full of guys, I would have done that in my early twenties. I didn’t. Because I never wanted to.


  1. Laundry. Our laundry has literally doubled since having Hudson. Between him getting poop, breastmilk, or other bodily fluids on himself and me, our washing machine is constantly running. Adding another child would have us doing laundry 24/7. I can think of at least one million other things I would rather be doing.


  1. Vacations. Air fare is expensive, and to go anywhere worthwhile, you have to book a flight. I can’t imagine buying 4 tickets plus accommodation for 4 people. I guess that’s why families opt for camping in the local woods. I hate camping; however, I would give glamping a try!


  1. Child care. Here in Vancouver, daycare is hard to get into (1-3 year waiting list) and super expensive. Having two kids in daycare would be extremely expensive.


  1. Time. There isn’t enough of it. Between Hudson and managing my two businesses, I have no more to spare.


So that’s it. That’s why I’m saying no right now. I know there are good reasons to have a second child, but for right now I’m happy. I feel my family is whole and complete. Unless that changes, neither will my family.


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  • The question will not go away anytime soon. Take my word for it. My Doll is 18months now and I only just revealed to coworkers I was pregnant (because it was getting impractical to hide) and I was still getting the question. I don’t know if it ever stops.
    For me, I don’t remember too much about being pregnant. I remember complaining a lot about being uncomfortable (that was my go-to) and I remember my back hurting a lot (I had a driving job, plus a bad back from a car accident, plus hardwood and tile floors). Compared to most, I had a really easy pregnancy. No morning-sickness. No hemorrhoids. Nothing really. Oh, except gestational diabetes but it was controlled by diet so I didn’t need to do the whole needle thing. I don’t know that I “like” being pregnant, but I don’t remember hating it. The whole birth thing has faded somewhat too. Not that that means I’m looking forward to it again!
    Pretty much all your other points: accurate. I don’t have two dogs but I have one big one, a cat, a rabbit, a snake, fish, and mice. And a husband (who doesn’t seem to grasp simple concepts such as changing the toilet paper roll). And my first baby was a girl (we outnumber the men!) but we aren’t finding out what the second will be.
    Laundry??? You don’t even know the challenge of laundry! (hint: cloth diapers get done every day or every second day, they can’t be combined with other things to make a big load, and they need prewashes, washes, and rinses – ugh!).
    After Doll was born when people asked me that question, my answer was a resounding NO! But here I am, pregnant again and I’m actually pretty happy about it so . . . Maybe give it a couple years? lol

    • vanessafranz


      Your comment made me laugh so hard. And congrats on the baby on the way! You’re going to be so busy! And you’re probably right. I will give it a couple years. The memory of birth and being pregnant is slowly fading. I think it’s evolutions way of us having more than one baby! lol.